Unforgivable Mistake
by A Thing For Brothers
Summary: Based off the episode Primacy. When Amita's involvement in the case goes terribly wrong, will Charlie be able to forgive Don and himself for letting her get involved in the first place? Warning: character death.
1. The Unthinkable

**Hello again! Sorry it's taken so long for me to post again. Between school, vacation, surgery, and just plain laziness, I haven't had much time to write lately.**

**This story is taken from the episode about the alternate reality game, Primacy. I changed the ending, and will take it a few steps further to see what would happen if Don failed to protect Amita. I hope you enjoy!**

**Note: I'm not sure what exactly happens at crime scenes, and what they do with bodies. If you know better, please tell me. If not, just go with it, okay? LOL Thanks!**

Amita's heart beat out of her chest, and she wondered if everyone could hear it. She was on the cell phone with Spectre, as he led her inside the building. Don was on the phone with her, the one placed discreetly in her ear. She shouldn't feel so terrified, knowing Don was near, but she still did.

Stepping closer inside, Amita tried to find the man she was talking to. He wanted her to come to him, and she felt fear come off her in waves. Her heart was in her throat as she took another step and the man grabbed her from what seemed like nowhere.

The scream that had been building up inside her escaped as his strong arms surrounded her. She was pulled tightly against him, and she could feel his breath on her ear. Then a gun was pressed to the side of her head and she cried out again, tears filling her eyes.

"FBI!" The three letters were a comfort to Amita, but she still whimpered in fear, going limp to keep from getting further hurt.

Then Don appeared, pointing a gun at the man who held her at gunpoint. She almost smiled at the sight of him.

Amita knew she would be safe now, because there was one thing she knew for sure. Don would never do anything to hurt his brother. She knew Charlie loved her, and she returned that love with all her heart. She and Don had even grown closer, what with the possibility of becoming family one day. So Amita knew. She knew Don wouldn't let anything happen to her, because if it did, Charlie would be devastated. Don would never let such pain come to his brother. Amita understood the bond between the two. Though the love they shared was never verbalized, she knew that it was there. And that was why Don would save her. She knew he would.

She knew.

--

"Drop the gun!" Don demanded as he aimed the gun at the man holding Amita, chewing hard on his gum. He focused on the man, desperate to get him to drop his weapon or let Amita go. "Let her go!"

"No! You're going to let me leave!"

"That's not going to happen and you know it. Just let her go." Don tried to be reasonable with the man. He took a cautious step forward.

"I'll kill her! I swear to God!"

"I can't let you do that. Just put the gun down. This doesn't have to go any farther."

"Let her go, Spectre!" Megan called, her voice steady.

The man's wide eyes flashed among the agents, but Amita's eyes were the only ones that caught Don's attention. Though she looked scared to death, when her eyes locked with Don's, he saw a trust there. Don could tell she trusted him to keep her safe, and he couldn't imagine letting her down.

Which was why the gunshot was so unexpected to all around, except the hand that delivered it. Don's mouth hung open, and his heart dropped for a split second. In the next second, he was shooting the man, and he fell to the ground.

As the man began to fall, Don charged forward and knelt next to Amita.

"Amita! Amita!" he screamed as he flipped her over. Blood pooled at the back of her head, and her eyes stared blankly up at him. Tears came to Don's eyes as he looked down at her, and he felt Megan kneel beside him.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed, tears in her eyes as well.

Don nodded solemnly. Tenderly, he placed his hands underneath Amita's bloody neck and her legs. Lifting, he picked her up off the floor and carried her outside. His face was a blank mask, hiding the inner turmoil. As he stepped out into sunlight, a car pulled up and the unthinkable happened.

His brother got out of the car.

Charlie's shocked eyes took in the scene for a brief second before his eyes landed on Don, then what he held in his arms. His eyes widened and his hand shot up to cover his mouth, stifling a cry.

"What did you do?" Charlie demanded as he charged up to Don. Unaware of how severe the situation was, he stopped short as he stood in front of Don. He saw Amita's open eyes, saw the blood.

"Buddy... I..." Don began, but couldn't find any words that fit.

Charlie reached out and took Amita from Don in a quick movement. His hand reached up and buried in Amita's crimson-tinted hair as he cradled her head against him.

Again, Charlie's eyes came up to his brother's face. His eyes were full of tears as he angrily looked up at Don.

"What did you do?" he asked again.

"What did you do?" Charlie screamed, crying. Anger rushed through him, but he couldn't let go of Amita to hit his brother.

Falling down, Charlie sat on the ground, rocking Amita's lifeless body back and forth. He buried his face in her hair as he cried. How could she be gone? They'd just been talking less than two hours ago. How could so much have gone wrong in that time? And, most of all, how could Don have let it happen? Charlie had made it clear that he didn't want Amita involved anymore. Why couldn't Don have listened to him? All he cared about was catching the bad guy. Don didn't even think of how wrong things could have gone.

"Buddy, please. They need to take her..." Don started as he placed a gentle hand on Charlie's shoulder. Charlie merely flinched away

Charlie's eyes filled with tears again as he looked down at the lifeless body he held. How could he let her go? He had failed her. He should have been there, not on some stupid TV show. That's not what mattered. Amita was all that mattered, and he never let her really know it.

Charlie lowered his head to Amita's cold shoulder and cried as he rocked her back and forth. His throat got tight and he began to shake.

From a distance, Don's team stood and watched. Megan's tears flowed freely down her face, while Colby and David held theirs inside as they silently grieved. Both knew how much Amita meant to Charlie, and all had come to know and love her, too. It was never easy when someone they knew got involved. If only that could never happen...

Don stared down at his brother. He bit his lower lip and shook his head. He stalked off toward his team. When he stood in front of David and Colby, his head was lowered, unable to make eye contact with them.

"Could you do me a favor?" he asked, barely glancing up to show he was talking to his team.

"Anything, Don," Megan said, her voice shaky.

"Just... they... they need to take Amita away. Charlie won't let me touch him. Could you... could you take her away? Please."

David solemnly nodded and took a step forward. Colby followed, patting Don on the shoulder as he passed. Megan followed last and went to Charlie.

"Charlie... Charlie, we need to take Amita now, okay?" Megan spoke gently, so as not to spook Charlie.

"No! No, you can't take her!" Charlie cried angrily.

"Yes, Charlie. We need to, okay?" Megan reached out and touched Charlie's shoulder. He shook it off and lowered his head once more.

Megan made eye contact with David and Colby and nodded, a silent signal. In a swift movement, Colby reached down and took Amita's lifeless body from Charlie's arms while Megan and David worked to restrain Charlie.

"No! Amita! No! You can't take her! I need her! Amita!" Charlie screamed, his heart ripping out of his chest. Megan walked in front of Charlie while David held him back. She stood in his line of vision so he couldn't see her. Framing his face with her hands, she locked eyes with Charlie.

"Charlie, she's gone. She's gone, Charlie. It's okay," she tried to soothe him, but it only made his heart ache more.

Colbly walked away quickly, tenderly holding Amita as he went. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he whispered as he laid her down on the gurney. The coroner took her away, and Colby returned to the cars.

"No!" Charlie screamed as he saw Amita's body being taken away. As the car she was in drove off, he broke free of David's hold and ran after the car.

Don watched as his brother ran after the car, running as hard as he could until his strength gave out. He could hear his brother's sobs and it twisted his insides. Having all he could take, he rounded the cars to a secluded area. He doubled over and emptied his stomach as he heaved. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he wiped the moisture away.

When he returned, Megan was leading a rigid Charlie back toward the cars. Charlie's face was stony, void of all emotions. The only sign of his pain was in his chocolate brown eyes that seemed to swim in pain.

"Here you go. Why don't you let your brother take you home, okay?" Megan said softly as she pulled Charlie toward Don. Hearing the word "brother," Charlie seemed to break out of his trance and he made eye contact with Don.

"That's not my brother." Charlie stared in Don's eyes, watched the hurt, then walked away toward Colby's car.

"Can you take me home?" Charlie asked Colby, without a second glance at Don. Colby looked over Charlie to Don, who stood staring at them. He turned back to Charlie and nodded.

"Sure thing, man. Hop in," Colby said calmly, trying to keep on the good side of Charlie. He got in the car and drove off.

--

Don watched his brother leave, his heart breaking. He kept his face void of the true emotions he was feeling, and kept himself steeled to ward off his feelings.

"We should never have done this," Megan sighed beside Don.

"You think I don't know that?" Don snapped, stalking off.

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just saying. Amita wanted to do this. It was her call. If she didn't want to, she could have just said no. But she didn't. We just should have said no for her."

"She didn't say no because she trusted me. She thought I'd take care of her. And look where that got her. She's dead! You happy? The woman Charlie loves is dead because of me!" Don shouted as he climbed into the car, slamming the door shut behind him as he drove off.

--

Colby pulled into the Eppes' driveway. He watched Charlie silently get out of the car, as he had been the whole drive. Colby got out and walked around to keep an eye on Charlie. Charlie simply walked into the house and up the stairs to his room.

"Charlie, is that you?" Alan called from the kitchen. He walked to the front of the house, surprised to see Colby.

"What's going on?" Alan asked, reading the look on Colby's face. "Is it Donny?"

"No, sir. It's not Don... it's Amita."

"No." Alan held a hand to his heart. "Is she all right?"

Colby lowered his head a moment. "No, Mr. Eppes. She... she died."

Alan gasped as tears filled his eyes. "Charlie?"

"He's upstairs."

"Excuse me." Alan barely had the words out when he reached the top of the steps. He slowly opened Charlie's door and looked inside, finding Charlie sitting alone on his bed.

"Charlie?" Alan spoke gently as he came to sit beside his son.

Charlie slowly turned to face his father. He stared at Alan for a few minutes, silently waiting.

"She's gone, Dad. The love of my life is gone." As he spoke the words, the reality hit him once more and his face melted into a pool of tears.

"Oh, my poor boy." Alan wrapped his arms tightly around his son, understanding exactly what pain Charlie was going through.

Charlie pressed his face in his father's shoulder and let himself cry. As he poured his misery out, he trembled in his father's arms. Alan kept his arms wrapped tightly around Charlie as he cried with his son. Rocking back and forth, Alan held Charlie closely to him.

Once his tears began to slow, Charlie lifted his face to look up at his father. "Amita's gone, Dad, and it's all Don's fault."

Alan shook his head slowly. "No. No, Charlie, Don would never do that to you."

"No, you're wrong! It's all Don's fault! He made her do it! He was supposed to protect her! I was supposed to protect her! He let her go, Dad! He led her to her death, and I didn't even have the chance to stop him!"

Charlie shoved his father away and fell upon his bed, hiding his face as he began to cry once more. He felt as if someone had taken a knife and split his heart in two. The woman he loved had died, and it was his beloved big brother's fault. How could he ever forgive Don? It was Don's fault... Don's and his, as well. Charlie knew he should have done more to stop Amita, should have been there with her instead of at the interview. When Larry told him what was happening, he was so afraid. If only he'd been fast enough...

But Charlie hadn't been fast enough. He hadn't been there. He hadn't stopped Amita from going. He hadn't protected her.

And Don hadn't stopped her either. He hadn't saved her. He hadn't protected her, like he was supposed to. He let her go, and because of he did, Amita was dead.

And there was no way Charlie could ever forget that.

**How'd I do so far? I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you think the emotions are wrong, or if Charlie is being too harsh. I felt a little unsure, so if you could give me some feedback about that, that would be wonderful. Thanks for reading. I'll have more up ASAP!**


	2. Sanjay and Tapti

**Thanks to my reviewers for the wonderful feedback! I really appreciate it. I love the advice, and will use it. Thanks again! Oh, and I fixed the misspelling of "unforgivable." LOL Also, as you will probably be able to tell, I spend very little time in airports. I've never flown, so if things sound really vague, that's why.**

Don wasn't sure what he should do. He drove to his apartment, but it didn't seem right to be there. He drove by the family home, but that didn't feel right either. Eventually, he made his way back to the FBI office, where he finally felt comfortable.

Colby had returned from the Eppes home, and was working at his desk when Don walked in. Surprised to see him, he stood as his boss neared.

"Everything okay, Don?"

"Huh," Don laughed and just kept walking. As if anything could be okay after what he'd done. He'd killed the woman his brother loved. Hell, Don had come to love Amita too. He welcomed the idea of having her as his sister-in-law. It almost felt like she already was. How could he have let her die? Why had he let her do it?

Charlie would never forgive him. Who could blame him? Don had no idea how he could forgive himself, knew he couldn't. He'd broken his little brother's heart. Don had worked so hard all his life to keep Charlie out of harm's way. He never expected to be the one to hurt him the most, though.

Don walked up to his desk and fell into his black swivel chair heavily. He leaned his elbows on the desk as he looked down at the paper work in front of him. When the paper began to blur, he had to shake his head to ward the tears away. Don spent another five minutes simply staring at the page, never really reading or comprehending what he was looking at.

When Megan walked in from informing Amita's family, as well as Larry and Amita's other colleagues of her death; she saw Don bent over at his desk. Judging by the look on his face, he was deep in thought, which was why she wasn't surprised when he jumped when she placed her hand on his forearm.

"You should go home, Don," she stated simply when Don looked up at her.

"Can't. I have work to do."

"Don, work does not matter right now. Go home. Come on, I'll drive you."

"I'm perfectly capable of driving myself. Please, just leave me alone." Don waved her away, and Megan quietly left.

Finally giving up on the paper work, Don tossed it aside. Laying his forehead against the cold surface of his desk, he closed his eyes. How was he supposed to fix this? How could he ever face his brother again? How could he face his father? Don had done the unthinkable, and, he knew, the unforgivable.

After spending an unproductive night at the office, Don was surprised to hear footsteps nearing his desk the next morning. He didn't bother looking up, just sat in silence, like he had been all night. However, when he heard the voice, he spun around.

"Donny, what are you doing?" Alan asked softly. He didn't mean it as a reprimand, but when he saw his son's face, he knew Don took it that way.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should be with Charlie, shouldn't I? I shouldn't be here, should I? Um, I should be... I'm sorry."

Seeing the distraught on his son's face, Alan reached out and framed Don's face with his hands.

"Donny, look at me," Alan commanded when Don's eyes darted around in different directions, always avoiding Alan's face. Finally, Don looked into his father's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Don whispered.

"Don, stop apologizing." Alan reached behind him and dragged a chair closer so that he was sitting in front of Don. "What happened?"

Don slowly licked his lips as he looked off to the side. "It... it was going fine. She was just supposed to meet him. He didn't notice us, anything. Amita... she was, she was so brave. She was wonderful. Nothing went wrong until she got close to him. He grabbed her, and we moved in. He..."

Don closed his eyes against the memory. "He held the gun against her. I've been in so many standoffs before, and they go fine. They almost never shoot... but he... he did."

Don shook his head, hardly believing it himself. "I shot him, but she was gone. And then Charlie..." He turned to face his father. "Charlie showed up. He held her. He was so mad at me... Who could blame him?

"She's gone, Dad, and it's all my fault. I don't know how to fix this. What do I do? What do I do?" Don searched his father's face, looking for some sort of answer, because he sure couldn't find one on his own.

Alan reached down and took his son's hands in his larger ones. "Donny, it's okay. It was not your fault. Amita was a grown woman. She knew the risks. No one made her do it. It was her choice."

"But I didn't save her."

"No, no you didn't. But neither did Megan, or David, or Colby, or any of the other agents there. It's not your job to do everyone else's work on top of your own, you know."

Don looked down and swallowed hard, taking in his father's words.

"Come on, Don. Let's go home, okay?" Alan managed a smile for his son.

"Is Charlie-"

"Yes, Charlie is there. I think he's going to want to see you."

Don gulped. He doubted it. Why would Charlie want to see him after all the pain he'd caused?

The trip home was spent in awkward silence. Don shifted uncomfortably in the front seat, running through his head what he'd tell Charlie. He knew there were no right words to truly speak his feelings. He would try his best to convey his sorrow and guilt. If he'd known anything would happen to Amita, Don would never have let her go. He would have found a decoy, done something completely different. He would have taken Amita away to a safe house until it was all said and done. They would have found Spectre without her. There were so many things he could have done differently, all would have ended with Amita still being alive.

When they pulled into the driveway, Don's feet froze to the floor. His throat tightened as he thought of seeing Charlie. His brother must be heartbroken, maybe he'd be reverting back to P vs. NP, like with their mother's death. Whatever he was, Don knew for sure his brother would be mad at him. It was the only thing he was certain of.

"Don. Are you coming?" Alan asked after he got out of the car and Don remained inside.

"Give me a minute," Don said hoarsely, showing his inner turmoil.

Alan nodded and went inside the house.

Don swallowed hard a few times, working loose the tightness in his throat. He could just see Charlie inside, eyes red and wet. He'd be curled in a ball in the corner of the garage, his breathing labored. Don didn't know if he was ready to face that Charlie, if Charlie was ready to see him. But he knew he had to go inside the house. So with what strength he had, he managed to push himself up and walk from the car to the house.

As Don entered the house, he could see his father trying to go unnoticed from the hall. He was watching Don, making sure he would go upstairs. Knowing what his father wanted, Don started to go up the steps. When he reached Charlie's door, he took a deep breath before turning the knob and opening the door.

Charlie was laying on his side, facing the opposite wall, when Don came in. He had the blankets pulled up to his chin, but none were covering his body. They were tangled up in a ball in front of him, and Charlie hugged them to his chest. His eyes were red and watery, and dark circles shadowed the skin beneath his eyes. Each breath was labored and heavy.

"Hey, Buddy," Don said as he crouched in front of Charlie on his bed. He knelt until they were at eye level. Charlie had been staring at a space on the wall, but when Don spoke, his eyes found his big brother.

Charlie opened his mouth, as if to say a greeting in response. When no sound came out, he simply closed his mouth, and continued to watch Don, as if speaking with his eyes.

Don stared into his brother's eyes, and could almost read his thoughts. Taking a chance, he reached out and grasped his brother's forearm in a comforting gesture.

At his touch, Charlie closed his eyes tightly. He wanted to be mad, but the only emotion he could feel was sorrow. The love of his life was dead. Brilliant, beautiful, sweet Amita was gone. She was never coming back. They were never going to get married. She would not bear his children. They wouldn't grow old together. At twenty-nine, Amita still had so much life ahead of her. How could she be gone? Charlie didn't know he could feel so empty.

With the touch of Don's hand, the tears began again. Charlie closed his eyes, ashamed to be crying in front of his brother. Still, the tears spilled over and onto his cheeks, and he knew Don could see them.

"Oh, Buddy." Don stood and sat on the bed beside Charlie. Taking his younger brother by the shoulders, Don pulled Charlie up so that he could better hold onto him. Don wrapped his arms around Charlie and held him tightly.

As Don held him, Charlie felt the sobs loosen from his throat, and soon he heard them come to life. He felt a gentle rocking, but he barely noticed it. All he could think of was that Amita was gone, and he'd never get to hold her again, never say "I love you" enough, never propose, never marry her. Their time together had barely begun, and now she was gone.

"I'm so sorry, Buddy. I'm so sorry," Don whispered as he rocked Charlie back and forth. He had never meant for any of this to happen. There was nothing he could do to make up for it, and could only pray that Charlie could some day forgive him.

--

Eventually, Charlie cried to the point he wore himself out and fell asleep. He hadn't slept the night before, so it didn't take much to get him to sleep. Don quietly slipped out when Charlie fell asleep, and decided to go to his old bedroom, after the previous sleepless night.

However, when he closed the door behind him, he suddenly felt weary. Sliding down the door to the floor, Don sat with his forearms slung over his raised, bent knees. He leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he'd fallen asleep.

It was in that position that Alan found him twenty minutes later. At first, he thought Don was still awake. However, as he neared, Alan could hear the rhythmic breathing that told him Don was asleep.

"Oh, Donny." Alan reached down and shook his son's shoulder, jostling Don awake.

"What is it?" Don asked automatically, fearing something was wrong.

"Sh, it's okay. Let's get you to bed, okay?"

"Okay." Don blinked blearily. Half awake, he stood and swayed dizzily. Alan reached out and wrapped and arm around Don's shoulders, keeping him steady. They took the few steps to Don's bedroom and Alan guided Don down into the bed. Don fell heavily against the mattress, and automatically closed his eyes, ready for sleep. While Don returned to slumber, Alan covered his son up, and took off Don's shoes for him. Before he left, he placed a loving hand on the side of Don's face. Alan hated to see his sons like this. Though he felt his own grief at losing Amita, he knew his sons were taking it much harder. Both felt blame over her death, and were dealing with losing her as well. If only Alan could erase their pain.

--

Amita's parents were coming in in ten minutes. Charlie was silently thankful that he had already met them. He paced the halls where they would be getting off the plane. For once, he didn't have the answers. He had no idea what to tell them. He couldn't even think about how they would react. Charlie couldn't even think of how he would tell them what really happened, and why Amita was even involved.

Charlie looked out the window and recognized their plane coming in. He visibly shook.

"Hey, Buddy."

Jolting, Charlie turned around. "What are you doing here?"

Don gave his brother a sad smile. "I thought you could use some support."

"I already told Dad I didn't," Charlie snapped.

"I know." Don simply stood beside his brother, his hands jammed in his pockets.

Huffing, Charlie folded his arms and stood with his brother. As the plane touched the ground, he mentally prepared himself to meet the Ramanujans.

Soon swarms of people exited the plane and filled the hallway. Charlie searched the crowd, looking for Amita's parents. After the swarms passed, he saw them lagging behind, both dressed in black. Charlie swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He raised a hand to catch their attention, and they headed toward him and Don.

Don's eyes drifted to his brother when he saw Amita's parents. He could see his brother was worried about seeing them again, about the upcoming funeral. Don wanted to reach out and comfort his brother, but knew Charlie wouldn't like it. He was trying to be strong, so Don would allow him his strength.

Charlie stepped forward when Amita's parents were close. "Mr. and Mrs. Ramanujan." He reached out and shook Mr. Ramanujan's hand, sending a sad smile toward Mrs. Ramanujan, whose eyes were red and puffy.

"Please, you may call us by our first names," Sanjay said, speaking for his wife Tapti.

"Okay then. How was your flight?"

"It was good. Thank you."

Don walked up to his brother and Amita's parents. "Hi, I'm Special Agent Don Eppes, Charlie's brother." He shook both their hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Don. I'm Sanjay, and this is my wife Tapti."

"Can we talk for a minute?" Don gestured with his arm a nearby waiting area. Nodding, the couple went toward the seats.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked in a whisper.

"Telling them what happened."

"That's not your job."

"Actually, Charlie, it is." Don walked off and joined the Ramanujans. Charlie watched him leave, standing far away while Don told them what happened to Amita. He couldn't believe Don was doing this. It wasn't his job. Charlie had prepared himself to tell them what happened. But Don had taken it upon himself. Charlie was grateful, but still felt it was his job, not Don's in this case.

--

"Why was she involved?" Sanjay asked carefully after Don explained why Amita died.

"She was helping the FBI on our case. She had been working earlier and the suspect found out her personal information. Amita volunteered to help us by going to meet the suspect."

"She should not have been involved! She was just a girl!" Tapti cried, holding her hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.

"I understand that. If I had thought her life would be put in any danger, I would never have let her do it. It was her choice, though. She was pretty brave."

"I think my wife and I would like to be alone now," Sanjay stated coolly.

"I understand." Don stood and walked back to where Charlie sat.

"How'd they take it?" Charlie asked, looking up when Don approached.

"They already knew most of it from Megan. I tried to fill in the spaces between, though. They took it like most parents would."

Charlie nodded solemnly. He doubled over and placed his face in his hands. Trembling, he shook his head back and forth.

"I don't know how to do this, Don," Charlie admitted. He was still angry with his brother, but he realized that he would need Don now more than ever. There would be time to be angry later. For now, he needed his big brother.

"I know, Buddy." Don squeezed Charlie's shoulder.

"I... I wasn't involved with Mom's funeral. I went, but, I don't know how to plan this. I don't know how to say goodbye to the woman I love. I don't know how to deal with her parents. I don't understand it. I'm always the one with an answer, or I always know how to find an answer. But... I can't. Not this time."

Don nodded. "That's because you're Charlie Eppes right now. You're not Professor Eppes, insanely brilliant mathematician."

Charlie raised his head and laughed sadly. "Amita used to tell me that. I never understood the difference."

**Sorry it took a while to update. This was kind of a slow chapter before we get into the faster-paced angsty and emotional scenes.**

**NOTE FOR MY DEDICATED READERS: If you remember, I mentioned in my story "Just Because I Love You" what my next long story would be. That has changed, and I know it's been forever since I even mentioned that. I just wanted to let those of you who remember me saying that know that my idea has changed. I have to ask an author who has a similar idea going to make sure we don't have the same storyline thought out. But, after this, I should be starting. Thanks for reading!**


	3. The Pain of Reality

Amita's parents politely declined Charlie's invitation to stay at their house. Instead, they stayed at a nearby hotel. In ways, Charlie was happy, though he knew he would have had to learn to get along with them eventually. After all, he had always expected to marry Amita. Still, the underlying blame would have driven him crazy, and he wouldn't have felt as open with them around. Maybe it was for the best that they stayed away.

Charlie hardly had to do anything for the funeral. He came over to the hotel the day after the Ramanujans arrived to see what they could do. Already, they were making plans and contacts. All he had to do was inform Amita's friends and colleagues of when and where the funeral and visitation would be held. Though that took the pressure off him, he felt like he should have done more for Amita.

On the day of Amita's funeral, it took Charlie four tries to leave the house.

Alan waited patiently at the front door for his son to come down. Knowing how hard something like this was, he knew to give Charlie time. Charlie made it to the door and gave his father a sad smile. As he reached for the door knob, he paled, turned, and ran for the bathroom, where he was quickly sick.

"Are you okay?" Alan asked when Charlie returned. He wanted to give Charlie space, so he hadn't followed.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Dad."

Charlie managed to make it out onto the porch when he felt it again. Luckily, Alan hadn't locked the door yet. Charlie shoved him out of the way and returned to the bathroom, making a repeat performance.

"Charlie!" Alan exclaimed when he followed Charlie. Seeing his son was sick again, he began to worry.

"I'm fine, Dad. Leave it alone," Charlie said simply. He rinsed out his mouth again.

"Let's go." Charlie pushed past his father and headed for the door. When he got there, Don was coming through, dressed all in black. Between the emotions he felt toward his brother and the finality of Amita's death shown in his attire, Charlie doubled over again and dry heaved, having emptied his stomach.

"Charlie!" Don exclaimed. He rushed over to his brother and gently, but firmly, placed his hands on both sides of Charlie's waist, keeping him standing. Alan went back to the bathroom and got a wash cloth, which he poured cool water over.

"I'm fine," Charlie said for the third time, showing the lie, as he straightened.

"No, you're not. Come sit down." Don nearly dragged Charlie to the couch, forcing his brother to sit down. Don knelt in front of the couch so he was eye level with his brother. Alan returned and pressed the washcloth to Charlie's face.

Charlie took the washcloth from his father and covered his face with it. Don and Alan shared a glance when Charlie held the cloth there for several minutes. When they turned back to Charlie, they could hear him quietly crying.

Don saw the tears slip down Charlie's neck, and he knew it wasn't from the barely wet washcloth. He reached up and pulled his brother's hands away from his face, exposing Charlie tear-soaked face.

"Talk to me, Buddy," Don said when Charlie wouldn't talk. He still held Charlie's hands in his. Alan sat down beside Charlie and rubbed circles on his son's back soothingly.

Looking from Alan to Don and back again, Charlie wondered what he could say. He hated the attention they were giving him. He didn't want them to look at him. He didn't want to be watched. It made him feel claustrophobic, like he was cornered by them.

"Hey. Buddy. Look at me."

Charlie focused on his brother.

"You're okay. You can talk to us." Don gave his brother's hands a squeeze.

Charlie swallowed hard. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to say goodbye."

"Charlie, this isn't one of your equations. There's no perfect solution to going through this. You just have to get through it as best as you can. It'll hurt for a while, but you'll get better. It doesn't have to be now, or tomorrow, next week, or even next month. The only rule is that you do get better," Alan put in.

Charlie took a deep breath to calm himself. Wiping his face with the cloth, he erased the signs of tears. Putting on a fake smile, he looked at his family gratefully.

"I guess this is where a daughter would have come in handy," Alan laughed.

Charlie flinched. Don shot his eyes toward his father, telling him his mistake with his eyes. Clearing his throat, Alan realized his mistake too late.

If only Amita could have filled that gap. If only she could have added that feminine touch. Charlie shook his head, willing away the thoughts.

"We'd better go," Don said, trying to distract Charlie's thoughts.

"Okay." Charlie rushed to stand, only to fall down again, luckily, into his brother's arms.

"Easy, Buddy." Don caught Charlie by his upper arms.

"You need some energy. I'll get you some juice and crackers." Alan rushed to the kitchen.

"Dad! I don't need that."

Don easily pushed his brother back into the couch. "Come on, Buddy. You need something."

Sighing heavily, Charlie lowered his head. He just wanted to get this day over with. Though he was in no hurry to say goodbye to Amita, he told himself things would somehow get better after today. His family seemed to be delaying time with their fussing.

Alan hurried back with a small bottle of orange juice and a whole sleeve of crackers. After thrusting them in Charlie's hand, Alan stood back.

"Come on. I can eat them in the car." Charlie stood and made it a few steps.

"You'll get cracker crumbs all over your suit."

"Who cares?" Charlie snapped as he started to sway on his feet. Don came to his rescue. He took hold of his brother's arm and led him outside, keeping Charlie standing.

"Thanks," Charlie whispered as he sat in the passenger seat of his father's car.

"No problem, Buddy." Don patted Charlie's arm and then went back to his SUV.

--

Charlie was doing better than he expected. He had made it through most of the funeral with crying. The hardest part was when he first walked in. He saw Amita's open casket and blanched, never wanting to see her there. As he sat down, he wondered if they took the bullet out of her head, and then wondered why it even mattered.

As he sat through the funeral, his thoughts wandered. He wondered how Amita would have looked on their wedding day. She would have been beautiful, as she always was, whether she was wearing one of his old t-shirts, or dressed up for one of their dates. He could imagine them living together in his house. Alan would finally get those grandkids he practically begged for. Charlie wondered what Amita would look like thirty years later. She'd still be beautiful in his eyes, he knew. It was so hard to think about how she would be. She could have done so many things. She was brilliant, full of life.

Charlie's lower lip quivered. Amita was not going to do those brilliant things. She was in that coffin, trapped forever. Charlie felt his heart shatter all over again, because he knew that he was never going to be able to get her out of this mess.

--

Don watched his brother more than anything else during the funeral. Alan stood between them, giving him enough cover to watch without being noticed. He saw every silent tear fall down Charlie's face, watched every time his brother cleared his throat and regained control of his emotions. Don knew when Charlie's mind began to wander, as he probably thought about all the things he'd miss with Amita, since his eyes got a sad look to them when he did. He also knew when his brother got that stubborn streak in him, because he'd set his jaw and stare in front of him, never shedding a tear. And when Charlie had to be pallbearer, Don watched his brother have more strength than ever before.

Throughout it all, Don never saw his brother openly sob. Yet here, at the cemetery, as they prepared to lower Amita's coffin in the ground, Charlie lost it.

Charlie's throat never felt so tight, and he found it hard to breathe. Falling to his knees in beside Amita's coffin, he reached out and tenderly stroked the case.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much." Charlie whispered the words, so only Amita could hear him.

"I l-l-love you. Goodbye, baby," Charlie sobbed. He lowered his face to his hands as the tears came rushing out.

Charlie stood quickly and nearly ran away from the group. Don tried to cut him off, but he pushed on past his brother and went to the parking lot.

Charlie folded his arms as he leaned against his father's car. Pressing his face into his folded arms, he sobbed, letting the sleeves of his suit jacket absorb his tears.

"Charlie?" Tapti's voice called to him.

Charlie lifted his head and quickly wiped his eyes. Turning, he faced Tapti, realizing that Sanjay was there as well.

"Yes?"

"I know how much you loved my daughter. I appreciate all you've done for her."

"Thank you." Charlie gave them a weak smile.

"If you need anything, please, don't hesitate to contact us," Sanjay put in.

Alan and Don came up, having been worried about Charlie. When they saw him talking to the Ramanujans, they stayed back.

"I appreciate that. I loved your daughter more... more than I can say." Charlie started to get choked up.

"Take care of yourself, Charlie." Tapti reached out and hugged Charlie, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You, too, Tapti."

"Bye, Charlie." Sanjay held his hand out and shook Charlie's.

"Keep in touch?"

"Of course." Sanjay nodded.

"Bye." Tapti took her husband's arm and together they walked off. As they walked away, Charlie knew they would never see each other again, and the thought saddened him. The Ramanujans had decided to take a taxi to the nearby airport. They wouldn't need Charlie any longer.

"You okay?" Don asked as he came up to his brother.

"Not really." Charlie refused to look at Don, feeling the anger return.

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go home." Alan placed his hand on Charlie's back to lead him into the car.

"Donny? Are you coming over?"

"I think I'll go to my place. I may come over later, though."

"Okay. Bye, Don."

"See you guys."

Charlie managed a wave from the front seat. He sank into the seat, letting himself feel relieved. The worst of the sadness was over. But how could anger be any better?

--

Charlie was sound asleep when Don came over. The day had taken a toll on him both physically and emotionally. He was so tired, he went to bed three hours earlier than usual. Besides, he didn't hurt so much when he slept.

Don walked in and saw Alan sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. "Hey, Dad."

"Donny! How are you?"

"I'm okay. Charlie still up?"

"I think he's in bed. He hasn't been gone long if you want to check."

"Okay, thanks."

Don headed up the steps to Charlie's room. He didn't want to bother his brother, but he'd like to check on him before he fell asleep.

"Buddy?" Don knocked on the door. When he didn't hear a response, he opened the door a crack. Sticking his head inside, he saw Charlie turning back and forth on the bed.

"Charlie?" Don said quietly as he stepped inside, unsure if his brother was awake or not.

"No."

"No?" Don frowned. No what?

"No. Amita!"

Don's pulse quickened as he realized Charlie was having a nightmare.

"Stop! Don't shoot! Please! Amita! Don, save her. Donny, save her!"

Don flinched. He stepped up to the bed to wake Charlie. He watched Charlie twist and turn in the bed, tangling himself in the sheets. Don reached out to wake Charlie, but his brother flopped on the bed and swung his arm, hitting Don's hand away.

"No! Don't! Don! Don! Save her! Amita! NO!"

Don didn't have to wake up. Charlie shot up in bed, his eyes wide and breathing heavy. Don touched Charlie's shoulder to try to comfort him. Instead, Charlie got scared and moved as far away from Don as he could on the bed.

His chest rising high with every strangled breath, Charlie watched Don with wide eyes. He hadn't expected the touch, didn't know his brother was there. Seeing him now didn't make him feel any better. In his dream, he and Don had failed Amita again. Seeing it played out this time made it so much harder.

"Charlie, what-" Don reached out toward his brother, but Charlie moved away again, whimpering.

Don let his arms fall at his side. He took a step back, giving his brother space. Charlie wrapped his arms around his waist and shook as images of his nightmare came back to haunt him.

"Amita," Charlie whispered. He closed his eyes and began to rock back and forth trying to soothe himself back to sleep.

Tentatively, Don sat on Charlie's bed. When Charlie didn't shy away, Don scooted inches closer. When he was sure his brother knew he was there, Don managed to reach out and wrap his arm around Charlie's shoulders.

Instinctively, Charlie turned into his brother, placing his head on Don's shoulder. Don brought his other arm around and wrapped his brother in a protective hug. He rubbed circles on Charlie's back, soothing the tremors.

"Sh, Buddy."

Charlie pushed out of Don's arms and lay on the bed, feeling exhausted. He wanted to refuse Don's comfort, wanted to push Don away and make him leave. But he was finding it harder and harder to be mad at his brother, when he was the one person he needed most.

Charlie took a shuddering breath.

"Easy. You're okay." Don rubbed Charlie's arm.

Charlie closed his eyes, feeling as if he really were okay.

"Sh," Don continued to soothe. He squeezed Charlie's shoulder, and watched his brother's eyes close. Soon Charlie's breathing evened out, and Don knew he was asleep. He got up from the bed and rounded it to cover Charlie up.

"Sleep well, Buddy," he whispered.

Don's heart squeezed at the sight of his sleeping brother. Charlie's arm was crossed over his chest, his hand resting at his heart, as if protecting it. Don hated that it was because of him that Charlie was afraid of his heart getting heart hurt again. He wished he could rewind, go back in time. He'd do anything to take away his brother's pain. But he had failed Charlie. It was all his fault.

Guilt choking him, Don left Charlie's room, willing his baby brother peaceful sleep, where he could escape the pain of reality.

**Hey again! How am I doing? If you think it's getting melodramatic or anything, let me know. I love the angsty scenes, but sometimes I go overboard. There will be more fighting in the next chapter. Not too many more to go. I'm not sure how many there will be. I find out as I'm writing. LOL See you soon!**


	4. Admission and Realization

Things seemed to somehow go back to normal. It seemed weird to Charlie that life could go on without Amita. Yet, he was getting by. He had started classes again and the students seemed to forget their fallen professor. Time kept on moving, but Charlie couldn't help but feel that empty space where Amita should be.

Charlie knew he had to do something, though in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn't. Still, it was the right thing to do.

Charlie went into the FBI offices. He hadn't been there since before Amita's death, since he hadn't helped his brother on any cases since Amita died. He had avoided it as best he could, coming up with excuses that Don bought. He used to love working with his brother, but it was different now. He wasn't sure he could keep this up.

"Charlie, good to see you," Assistant Director Wright said as Charlie walked into the conference room. The two shook hands, and Charlie told him the news.

"I have to resign as your math consultant. I can give you recommendations on who to contact, but, I can't do it anymore."

Wright considered Charlie thoughtfully. "You're sure this is what you want?"

"I'm positive. It's just not the same anymore."

"Look, Charlie, I know what happened with Amita-"

Charlie visibly winced at the mentioning of her name. How he missed her.

"But I can't just let you go easily. Please, reconsider. Your brother's team has the highest record in solving cases. You can't tell me you're not at least part of the reason for that."

Charlie looked down, embarrassed.

"I just don't think I can help you anymore."

A knock sounded at the door and both men looked up.

"Wright, I need to talk-" Don barely stepped inside. He stopped when he saw Charlie sitting in front of Wright.

"Charlie? What are you doing here?"

"You didn't tell him?" Wright looked to Charlie, surprised.

Charlie shook his head, refusing to look at Don.

"I'll give you two a minute." Wright stood and left for a minute. Don took the seat in front of Charlie. He was surprised to see his brother. They hadn't talked much in weeks. Don would stop by, but Charlie was always busy with something. Don could feel the anger from Charlie, and Don still felt it toward himself. Seeing Charlie now left a sick feeling in his stomach.

"Charlie? What's going on?" Don asked when his brother refused to talk, or even look at him.

"I'm not going to work for the FBI anymore, Don." Charlie still wouldn't look at Don. He had spent so much time blaming himself for what happened to Amita, yet he still put some blame on Don's shoulders. That blame kept Charlie from looking at his brother. He didn't know how he could talk to someone he partially blamed for killing Amita.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I... I don't know. I thought you'd try to stop me."

"Stop you? Buddy, you can do whatever you want. You're a grown man. I can't stop you if you don't want to work for me anymore. But, Charlie." He waited until his brother looked at him finally. "What's this really about?"

Charlie stood up, nervous energy driving him to move. He paced the floor in front of the table Don sat at.

"I... I don't know that either."

"Yes, you do. Come on, Charlie, admit it!" Don could feel his anger rising.

Charlie stared at Don.

"For God's sake you've been punishing me ever since Amita's funeral. Admit it! You blame me for her death! That's what this is about!" Don shouted angrily.

"All right! Yes, I blame you! Happy? You shouldn't have let her do it, Don! I told you not to, and you didn't listen!"

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I regret it?"

"Then why didn't you save her?! You're supposed to be the agent, Don, not me! Why didn't you save her?"

"I wanted to! Don't you think I tried?"

"Well you didn't try hard enough! She was a teacher! She didn't know how to protect herself, and you were supposed to do it for her!"

Having heard their verbal fight, Megan finally could take no more. She burst in through the door and got between them.

"I can't save the world, Charlie!"

"ENOUGH!" Megan screamed, putting a hand toward each of them. Finally, they both fell silent. Mouths closed, they glared at each other.

"Charlie, listen to me. I know you're hurt. I know you're angry, but did you ever think for one second that Amita was a grown woman? She knew the risks! She was capable of making her own decisions. It was her choice. She could have said no. She didn't need you, or Don, to tell her what she could and could not do. Amita was brave. She knew what she had to do to stop Spectre, and it worked. She helped stop a murderer. Yes, she shouldn't have had to die to do it, but she did. Can't you accept the fact that Don is not to blame for a choice Amita made? If she didn't want to do it, all she had to do was say no. No one was forcing her, especially Don."

Charlie faltered. His face paled considerably and he stumbled backwards. He opened his mouth, as if to speak, and then closed it. He didn't know what to say.

"Charlie?" Don said softly now. He felt bad for his brother. He knew what it felt like to try to find someone to blame when things went wrong. He did the same thing to Charlie after their mom had died. It had hit him hard when he finally came to terms with the fact that Charlie had nothing to do with her death. It was easier when there was someone to blame.

Charlie fell heavily into his seat. Doubling over, he covered his face with his hands. How could he have been so blind?

"I'm so sorry, Don. I'm so sorry," Charlie cried when Don sat down beside him.

"No, it's okay, Buddy."

A.D. Wright walked in on the scene. He had heard their argument, and understood that there was more to Charlie's reason for leaving than he couldn't do it anymore.

"You two are both to go see Dr. Bradford. I don't care what differences you two have or how you can work things out on your own. Charlie, after seeing him, if you still feel like leaving the FBI, I won't stop you. But I can see there's more to this than what you say, and I'd hate to lose you."

"But-" the brothers said in unison.

"No buts about it. It's an order." Turning, he left the conference room.

"Charlie, I'm sorry, too," Megan said.

"No, Megan. You have nothing to be sorry for. I needed to hear it, even if I didn't want to."

Megan smiled, patted Charlie's shoulder, and left.

Charlie stood. "Um, I guess I should go."

Don nodded solemnly. "I'll make the appointment."

"Yeah, let me know when. I'll be there. Bye."

"Bye." Don barely lifted his head. He stared at the wall in front of him, his chin in his hand. Bradford again, huh? As much as he liked and respected the man, he was really hoping he was past seeing him. He remember the last time he and Charlie had gone together. Eventually, he thought it had done some good, but a lot came out before then. Did he really want to hear what Charlie thought now? Charlie just admitted he blamed Don for Amita's death. What other things must his brother be thinking?

--

As planned, Don set up the appointment with Dr. Bradford. The doctor had already heard about Amita, and could imagine what the young professor was going through. When Don arrived early, Dr. Bradford could already see the agent's fear and apprehension. He had come to know Don well, and could understand all his moods. Dr. Bradford could see Don wanted to be helpful by doing this with his brother, but noticed and underlying fear in Don's eyes.

"So what exactly is it you're afraid of?" Dr. Bradford asked bluntly as they waited on Charlie.

"I thought the session didn't start for ten minutes," Don joked.

Dr. Bradford looked at Don seriously. "Fine. If you'd prefer it, I'll ask you again when your brother gets here."

Don sighed, knowing he'd have to take the bait. "I'm not scared."

Dr. Bradford raised his eyebrows, but made no comment.

"All right, so maybe I'm a little worried. I just... I don't want Charlie to hate me forever, you know? I shouldn't have let anything happen to Amita, but I did. I just don't know how he's ever going to forgive me, and I'm worried this will just show me how much he really hates me now."

Dr. Bradford nodded thoughtfully. "Are you sure your brother feels this way?"

"He admitted the other day that he blames me for Amita's death. It's pretty hard not to think he hates me."

"And you? Who do you blame?"

Don breathed deeply, trying to think of a way to answer. "Me."

"Why? You know as well as I do that these things happen. There's nothing you can do to prevent them."

"Yeah, but if I had just gotten someone else to do it-"

"Someone else would have died and you'd be blaming yourself over that death, too. Don, listen to me. Amita was a grown woman, capable of making her own choices. If she really didn't want to do it, all she had to do was say no."

Don thought about that. Before he could respond, Charlie walked in.

"Hi. I'm sorry I'm late."

"Nonsense, Charlie. You're right on time." Dr. Bradford smiled warmly, trying to get the professor to feel comfortable.

Charlie looked hesitantly at Don, then sat down on the couch on the opposite end as Don.

"So, Charlie, I've been talking to Don what happened to your girlfriend. I'm sorry to hear about that."

Charlie swallowed hard, still having trouble talking about it. "Yeah... me, too."

"Don tells me you admitted you blame Don for her death. Can you explain that to me?"

Charlie glanced nervously at Don, then focused his attention on Dr. Bradford. He didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"I don't blame Don. Well, I do, but I blame myself as well."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"I understand that Amita is – damn, was – a grown woman who could make her own choices. But I feel like Don was in charge, and he shouldn't have given her a choice to make. He knew the risks, and shouldn't have let her go. But at the same time, I blame myself because I did nothing to stop her either. All I did was walk off and go on TV to promote a stupid book. I left her to get shot and killed."

"Do you think you could have changed Amita's mind?"

"Of course! She wouldn't have been there in the first place if it hadn't been for me. We were dating. She wanted to do her best for me. That's why she was doing it!"

"So she did everything for you?"

"Amita's been helping me as long as I've been helping Don. She was my student when we started working with Don. She's done everything I've asked of her. She would do anything to please me."

"You used her?"

"No! I would never do anything like that!"

Don sent a glare toward Dr. Bradford for pushing too hard.

"Let's talk about your brother. Have you enjoyed working with Don?"

"I did, until this happened." Charlie swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He didn't want to leave Don, but he didn't think he could anymore.

"Have you worked with him since Amita's death?"

"No."

"How do you know you don't enjoy working with your brother anymore, if you haven't worked with him?"

Charlie thought hard about that. "I... I don't know. It's different between us. I catch myself thinking, 'What would have happened if Amita had never met me?'. If I had never even worked with Don, she never would have died."

Don looked down. He hated that his brother felt that way. He wanted to tell him things could have happened anyway, but he couldn't find his voice. If he had never asked for Charlie's help, Amita wouldn't be dead. Of course Don should blame himself for Amita's death.

"Charlie, are you saying you regret ever working with your brother?"

Don's eyes immediately sought his brother's face. His heart beat faster than usual, afraid to hear the answer.

Charlie, too, was surprised. Ignoring Dr. Bradford, he turned to fully face Don.

"No. No, Don. I don't regret working with you. How could I? Before you came back... before Mom died, we didn't really have a relationship. Then I started working with you, and, well, we became friends. I've never been closer to you, Don. How could I ever regret letting that happen? If I hadn't worked with you, I don't think we'd be as close as we are now. I wouldn't change that for the world, even if it would bring Amita back. I need my brother."

Don's eyes glistened with tears as he looked at his brother. He had been so scared that something bad would happen at this session, but he should have seen something better could come out of it. He never expected this.

Charlie's mouth hung open in surprise. He turned back to Dr. Bradford, who was wearing a small smile. He watched realization blossom in Charlie's eyes.

"I need my brother. How... how am I going to stop working with him?"

Charlie looked back at Don. "I can't do it again, Don. I can't go back to the way we were before Mom died. I need you."

Near panic, Charlie moved closer to Don. Desperately, he grabbed onto his big brother's arms. "Don, we can't go back to that. I need you in my life. I'll never survive without you. I can't get through this without you. Amita was my girlfriend, but you're my brother. How could I ever kick you out of my life like that?"

Don wanted to kick himself when a tear managed to slip from his eyes. To hide it, he pulled his baby brother into his arms, and hugged him forcefully.

"I know, Buddy. I need you too. I don't want to go back to the way we were either. Charlie, I love working with you. I can't imagine not having you around like that. But if you honestly need to stop, I'll understand. I just want you to be happy."

Charlie pushed out of his brother's arms. "No, Don. I was wrong. I... I was just scared to go back to working with you. I know I can't stay away from you like that now. I just... I couldn't do it again. I love working with you. I think I would have realized that after a while. Don, I want to work with you. I know something awful happened, and I'll always feel that. But I need to be with you. It'll kill me if we go back to the way we were."

Don hugged his brother again, but no tears came this time. Instead, a smile lit up his face. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Buddy."

**Hey, sorry it took so long! I've been busy and distracted by my new idea for a story. I can't wait for that one. The next chapter will probably be an epilogue, just a few scenes that show how things have settled. Your job is to let me know anything else you want to see in the story. If there's something you think needs covered, I can do that. Heck, if I get enough of those, I may write another chapter. Okay? Thanks for reading!**


	5. To Protect and Save

**Well, I guess you guys are bored with this story or something, since I didn't get any ideas for this chapter. Oh, well. I can't wait for my new story anyway. I'm leaving this as incomplete until I get reviews for this chapter. If you think I missed something or need to add something else, I will post a new chapter. If not, I'll change it to complete. Okay? Enjoy.**

Don and Charlie went to three sessions with Dr. Bradford. However, they felt that everything was resolved after the first one. Though there was still some blame they put on themselves, Charlie had forgiven Don for his involvement. He knew his brother well enough to know that Don had done everything he could to save Amita. He truly believed that.

Don was thankful to learn he hadn't had a reason to worry. Rather than learning how much Charlie hated him, he found out how much his brother loved him in the sessions. He was thankful for the open air between them, and he felt better knowing Charlie had forgiven him. He still found it hard to forgive himself, though.

Charlie had started working with Don again. It scared him to death, but he was doing it. He was waling inside of Don's office when his brother and his team came charging out.

"Don!" Charlie called when the team passed him without even noticing.

Don paused and turned around. Seeing his brother, he ran back over to him.

"What, what's going on?" Charlie asked, fear in his voice.

"We just got a call about Gardner. He's been spotted. We gotta go. I'll let you know how it goes."

"NO!" Charlie screamed, louder and angrier than Don had ever heard him. He latched onto Don's arm in a painfully tight grasp.

Don turned to his team and held up one finger, so they knew to give them a minute. He reached out and changed positions with Charlie. He took his brother's elbow in a tight grasp and led him a few steps away to a nearby bench.

"Charlie, what's going on? I have to go."

"No! You can't, Don. Please. I can't lose you, too." Charlie wrapped his arms around his brother tightly, to both give him a hug, and somehow keep him there.

"Charlie, I have to. This is my job." Don rubbed his brother's back, but it wasn't exactly heartfelt. He wanted to go. If they didn't move soon, Gardner would get away.

"No, Don. Let your team handle it." Charlie's eyes widened. He pushed out of Don's arms. "No! Let another team handle it!" Charlie started to stand to stop Don's team from going as well.

"Charlie! Stop it!"

Charlie managed to stop, but he longed to protect them.

Don pulled his brother back down and made Charlie face him. "Charlie, listen to me. This is my job. This is my team's job, too. We know the risks. We're okay with that. We're going to do our best, and make sure nothing bad happens to each other. That's why we're a team, not just one of us going in there. We're going to be okay. You have to let us go, Buddy."

"But-"

"No buts, Charlie. This is my job. I have to do it."

Don squeezed Charlie's shoulder as he stood up to leave. Charlie looked up at his brother with terror in his eyes, but then Don ran off to the van and the team was gone.

In all his years working with his brother, Charlie had never used his higher clearance at the FBI office. He didn't want to make Don feel inferior by doing it, or look like he was showing off. However, when the operator refused to disclose the location that Don and his team were going, Charlie used it.

Driving like a maniac, Charlie drove to a block away from the area that Don's team were. He recognized the small gas station, and started walking toward it after he parked his car. As he walked down the sidewalk, he could see the FBI van, and see his brother's team standing around it.

Don had just gotten done putting on his vest when Gardner made his appearance. The man was wanted for holding up multiple banks, and for murdering multiple bank tellers and customers. Gardner was stepping outside of the gas station, not noticing the FBI team waiting. Don's team moved in, and caught Gardner's attention.

"FBI!" they screamed as they advanced on the man.

"Stand back!" Gardner called as he took out a gun.

"No!" Charlie screamed as he started running toward them.

Luckily for Don, his focus was on Gardner, or he would have surely gotten hurt when he heard Charlie's voice.

Gardner pointed the gun back and forth between the agents erratically. The team stopped when the gun was drawn, but kept their guns trained on Gardner.

"Give it up, Gardner. It's over," Don called to the man.

"No! No, it's not over. I'm not going with you!"

"Mr. Gardner, you don't have anywhere to go. Just give it up peacefully, and drop your weapon," Megan said to him.

"NO!"

"Get down!" David cried, knowing what was coming. The agents ducked, but the gun was aimed right at them. Charlie ran and dove, the bullet grazing his leg.

Don's eyes widened in surprise and horror. While he was distracted by Charlie's sudden appearance, Colby took out Gardner with one shot to the leg. The three agents ran to the man, disarmed him, and cuffed him.

"Charlie!" Don hurriedly grabbed his brother and covered him with his body. When he looked toward Gardner, he saw his team taking care of the man, so he knew his brother was safe.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Don demanded as he propped Charlie up against the van. Don ran his hands over his brother's body, searching for injury. Charlie pushed him away before he got to his legs.

"I'm fine, Don. Are you okay?" He looked to his brother and then over Don's shoulder at Megan, David, and Colby. They were all standing, all breathing. Charlie supposed it was the most he could ask for.

"Charlie, you shouldn't be here! You could have gotten killed!"

"So could you!" Charlie screamed angrily.

"This is my job! I thought you understood that. It's my job, it's Megan's job, and it's David and Colby's job, too! We're bound to get hurt every once in a while. You're a professor, a mathematician, and a consultant! You're not supposed to be here!"

"You shouldn't be here either. I don't want you getting hurt!"

"Charlie, you can't stop that from happening. I'm going to get hurt! It happens. Either I live or I don't. Those are my only choices, and I'm going to do my damnedest to live!"

Immediately, Don knew he had said the wrong thing. Though what he said was true, Charlie was not ready to hear it.

"Oh my God," Charlie breathed.

"Charlie, I-"

Charlie stood and ran away, back to his car.

"Charlie! Buddy, come back!"

Don watched Charlie run away and quickly get in his car. He heard the tires squeal as Charlie sped away when he stood from his crouch position on the sidewalk. It wasn't until then that he looked down and saw the spot of blood on the ground, where Charlie had been sitting.

"Damn it," Don cursed.

"Don, is he okay?" Colby asked as he jogged back to the van. Megan and David had Gardner, waiting on the ambulance to arrive.

"No, I don't think so. Damn it."

"What the hell was he doing here?" Colby felt his own stomach knot at the remembrance. He cared about Charlie, and seeing him fly out of nowhere and into the line of a bullet scared him.

"I think he's scared after Amita that he's going to lose someone else he loves. I hate him thinking like that. I mean, I can't guarantee it won't happen, but he shouldn't be constantly terrified. He didn't want me to go. He said for you guys to handle it, but then he wanted another team to handle it."

Colby smiled proudly. "He was worried about us?"

"I said he's scared of losing someone else he loves, didn't I?" Don smiled at the agent, knowing what Colby was thinking. It was true. Charlie had come to love the whole team, and didn't want to lose any of them.

"Here comes the ambulance." Colby nodded toward the street.

"Let's get this over with."

--

After Don finished up with Gardner an hour later, he called Charlie's house. Alan answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad. It's me. Is Charlie there?"

"No, I haven't seen him since this morning. Why?"

"Shit," Don cursed.

"Donny? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Dad. I'll explain later. Bye."

Don quickly hung up and dialed Charlie's cell phone. His brother didn't answer, so he called Charlie's office as well. When he still didn't get an answer, he called Larry's office.

"Hello?" Larry answered cheerfully.

"Hi, Larry. It's Don. Is Charlie at CalSci?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I can check. Will you hold for me, please?"

"Sure. Just make it quick, please. It's urgent."

"Yes, of course."

Larry left the phone and walked the short distance from his office to Charlie's. He didn't see his friend inside, so he returned to the phone.

"No, Don. I'm sorry, but Charlie isn't here that I know of. I haven't seen him since this morning. I'll let him know you're looking for him, though."

"Thanks."

Don knew he didn't sound truly grateful, but he was getting worried. He even called the local hospitals to see if Charlie was there. When he knew Charlie wasn't there either, he didn't know what he could do.

"Damn it, Buddy, where are you?"

What if Charlie was seriously hurt? What if he was lost, bleeding to death somewhere? What if he couldn't move because of the pain? What if he lost his cell phone, so he couldn't call for help as he lay in a ditch somewhere?

Don's heart raced at his own imagination. He called Megan, having the last plan he could think of.

"Reeves," Megan answered stiffly. She was getting ready to go home, and was hoping a new case had not already arrived for her.

"Megan, it's me. I need a favor."

"Sure, Don, what's up? Is Charlie okay?"

"That's the problem. I don't know where he is. Could you put an APB out on his car?"

"Don, are you sure he's not at school or something?"

"I've called his cell phone, his office, his house, and every hospital in the area. He was hurt this afternoon, and then he just ran away. He could be bleeding to death for all I know. Don't you think I checked all the places he usually goes before I made this decision?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to check." Megan's voice was tight. She knew Don was upset, but she hadn't done anything.

Don sighed. "I'm sorry. I just... I want to know where he is, okay?"

"It's okay, Don. I'll let you know if I see him, and I'll put that APB out. I'll let the boys know, too, okay?"

"Thanks, Megan."

"No problem."

Don went to Charlie's house to tell his father what was going on. Maybe Alan would know where Charlie was.

"Donny! Where's Charlie? I thought he'd be with you." Alan stood and opened the door for his son when he saw Don coming.

"Dad, I've got to tell you something."

Alan paled and sat down quickly. That never sounded good, coming from either of his sons.

"What happened?" Alan asked hoarsely, afraid of what he'd hear. Why wasn't Charlie with him?

"Today, my team and I were able to catch Gardner, but not before he shot at us. I don't know how, but Charlie was there when it happened. He drove himself to the scene, and when Gardner shot at us, he got in the way. I think he's hurt, Dad, and I can't find him. I got mad, and he ran off and drove away. He's not in any of his usual places."

"What? He got shot?"

"I'm not sure, Dad. I was trying to look him over, but he pushed me away and said he was fine. I think he was just more worried about me and the team. It couldn't have been too bad, but I don't know."

"Find him, Donny."

"I'm trying, Dad. Let me know if you hear anything or see him. Try calling his cell, too."

"I will. Take care of your brother."

"You know I will."

Don went back to his car, and barely sat down when his cell phone went off. Seeing it was Colby, he answered.

"Colby?"

"Yeah, Don. I found Charlie's car. It's at your apartment."

"What? Why would he be there?"

"I don't know. I just thought you should know. I tried to get him to open the door, but he never answered. Should I break down the door?"

"No, I'll be there in five minutes. Thanks, Colby."

"Okay, I'll wait here until you arrive."

"Thanks. Bye."

Don sped away and soon he was at his apartment. He waved to Colby, who was waiting in his car in the parking lot. Colby waved in return and backed out of the parking space and drove away when Don made it to his door. He quickly unlocked the door and entered the apartment.

"Charlie!"

Don didn't see Charlie immediately, so he rushed to his room. Charlie wasn't in there either. He checked the adjoining bathroom, and found Charlie there on the floor.

"Charlie!" Don quickly dropped to the floor beside his brother. Charlie was sitting up, his back against the siding of the bathtub. His legs were stretched out in front of him, and Don saw the makeshift bandage made of toilet paper wrapped around Charlie's leg.

"Buddy, you need to go the hospital. Come on." Don took his brother's arm to lift him up. Charlie shrugged Don's hand off, though.

"Charlie?"

"I was scared. I'm sorry I came, but I was so scared. I didn't want to work with you again because I hated what had happened to Amita. I thought by not coming back, I'd prevent it. But now that I'm back, I see that I could lose someone I love again, so easily. I... I don't know how I'm going to do it. I can't be there every time you get in harm's way. I can't protect you. But I can't lose someone I love again. It was so hard with Mom, and then Amita..." Charlie sobbed.

Don reached out and rubbed Charlie's arm comfortingly.

"I can't lose you, Donny. Never you, okay? Please. I... I don't know how to keep it from happening, but I can't lose you. I couldn't stand it. I'll never make it if I lose you."

Charlie leaned heavily against Don's shoulder. He let the tears slip down his face as he wrapped his arms around Don's biceps, hugging his arm tightly.

"Sh, I'm not going anywhere." Don used his other arm to reach around and rub Charlie's shoulder.

"Promise."

"I promise, Buddy."

As Charlie quieted, Don reclaimed his arm and moved toward Charlie's leg. He removed the useless toilet paper and inspected the wound beneath. It wasn't as bad as he feared, but it was still deep enough to cause concern. Don stood and reached for his brother.

"Come on, Charlie. We need to go to the hospital."

Charlie's eyes widened, and Don heard him whimper. "What? Why? Did someone get hurt? Did I not guard you guys from the bullet? Damn it, if I had been running .47 seconds faster, I would have..."

"Charlie!"

When Charlie finally stopped talking, Don continued. "Buddy, we need to go to the hospital for _you._ That graze looks pretty bad."

Charlie squinted his eyes, trying to figure out what Don was talking about. He started when he remembered the pain in his leg. "I'm sorry. I got blood on your floor, didn't I? I, I'll clean it up."

"Buddy, just come with me, please. Can you walk?" Don asked as he reached his hand out for his brother to take.

"I think so." Charlie took his brother's offered hand and stood quickly. The movement in his leg stung, but not so badly he couldn't walk. He kept a hand on Don's arm, in case he needed support. Don never acknowledged the touch, showing that it didn't bother him.

After they arrived at the hospital and Charlie was taken back, Don called their father. Alan was a nervous wreck by that time, and was at the hospital in half the time it would usually take.

Don also called Larry and his team to let them know what had happened. Though he assured them all they could stay where they were, they all decided to come in. By the time they all got there, Charlie was almost done.

When the team arrived, Don explained his brother's fear. He could see in their eyes how they all loved Charlie the same as Charlie loved them. They all softened as they heard Charlie's fears, and Don set up a small plan.

"Charlie Eppes?" a nurse called. Don and Alan stood and went to the nurse to go back to see Charlie, who was almost ready to be released. When they realized the others hadn't followed, Alan turned to them.

"Family only, so come on." Alan motioned with his hands for everyone to follow. Smiling, they did.

Charlie was lying on a hospital bed, his injured leg propped up. He was surprised when a large group of people came inside. He knew them all, and they were the people he loved most.

"Hey, guys," he said quietly as they came inside. He didn't enjoy too much attention, but he was comfortable with them.

"Hey, Buddy. How you feel?" Don asked as he sat on the edge of the bed beside his brother. He put a protective arm across Charlie's shoulders and left it there. Alan came to Charlie's other side and held his son's hand.

"I'm okay. Just needed a good bandage. I'll be fine."

"That's good."

There was an awkward silence, until Megan took a step forward from the group huddled together.

"Charlie, Don told us about what you did today. We know why you did it, and I just wanted to thank you. I appreciate what you did. It takes a lot of courage to move in front of a bullet, not away from one. I just wanted you to know that I love you, too. And I promise to take care of myself and my team, so you won't have to worry about us." Megan took another step forward until she reached Charlie. She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and gave his hand a squeeze before she stepped away.

Larry followed, and moved to Charlie's side. "Charles, I just wanted to let you know I will try my best to keep from getting in harm's way, and do whatever I can to prevent any of your other loved ones from getting hurt as well. I care deeply for you, Charles, and you're my best friend." Larry shook Charlie's hand and moved beside Megan.

"Hey, man. I understand what you did today, and I appreciate it. I'll try my best to make sure the four of us stay out of trouble, so nothing bad will happen. I hate that something bad happened to you, so I'll make a point of taking care of you, too." Colby smiled and shook Charlie's hand and gave him a one-armed hug at the same time.

"I'm sorry about what happened today, but I appreciate what you did. Thank you, man. I'll take care of this team as best I can. I wouldn't want you to get hurt, and I know I'd never do anything to hurt you or the team. We'll take care of each other. I promise." David did the same as Colby, and then stepped back.

By this time, Charlie's eyes were full of tears. He looked up at his older brother, who he found smiling back at him.

"See, Buddy? My job may be dangerous, but this is why nothing has happened yet. We're a team. A team who takes care of each other. As long as we got each other's backs, we'll be fine. You're a part of the team, too, so we're watching your back. We're in this together. You got nothing to worry about."

Charlie swallowed hard. He blinked rapidly, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. He looked among all the faces watching him. This was his family. The people he belonged with. How could he worry with them around to take care of him and each other?

"Thank you. I appreciate all you've said. I love all of you. You're the best family I could ask for... Thank you."

They all smiled and looked at each other. Charlie leaned against his brother and felt himself smile. He knew he was going to be okay now. Even though Amita was not there to be a part of their family, he knew with the family he had, he'd make it through anything. It's what his family was best at.

**The End!**

**Okay, if you think I need something else, let me know. If not, I'll move on to my new story. Oh, it's going to be angsty! And it's going to show off just how dark and twisty I am. Can't wait to see you there. See you soon. I hope you enjoyed this little tale. I MADE NO PROFIT!! I DON'T OWN NUMB3RS!! **


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